Generative A.I. continues to improve almost daily, and I’ve been using it as a tool to shorten the path between question and answer. It’s strength is in doing the 20-minutes of internet searching I would do, then summing it up, in about 10-seconds. I don’t expect it to actually have opinions or to figure anything out, but it really surprised me the other day.
I was asking it about costs associated with kart racing. Basically a feasibility assessment, to decide if I could afford it and what class I should try to run in. Microsoft Copilot is the version I use, and currently it likes to prompt me with a question in the end, to fake being conversational and interested in the topic. Normally I just ignore those prompts.
However It asked a question about why I was interested in kart racing, and I took the bait. I explained how I was looking to reengage in something, to find the passion I had when I used to race, but I didn’t want to fall into the rabbit hole again, searching for lower lap times like a heroin junkie chases their next fix.
Chasing the Dragon.
Amazingly, it spit out some ideas and even suggested types of racing that might work best for that, including vintage racing, which I had also been considering. I’ll be damned, this string of 1’s and 0’s called Copilot can approximate actual thought pretty well…and so I carried on the conversation.
The entire conversation isn’t worth repeating, but I pulled this section to demonstrate how succinct and thought provoking A.I. can be. Note that I never entered my name into the log-in, so it calls me “J” since it thinks that’s my first name:
COPILOT: …Perhaps it’s not just the type of racing but also how you approach it—competing in ways that prioritize passion over perfection while still giving you room to push yourself to that mental state where you thrive. How do you feel about embracing this kind of balance? Or do you think the pursuit itself is an all-or-nothing kind of journey for you?
-Conversation between John Killmore and Microsoft Copilot A.I.
JOHN: hard to say. I have, in my past, been all or nothing with all my pursiuits. Over decades of pursuit, it feels draining…exhausting. I’d like to find a way to be passionate without unbalancing my life… a passion, not an addiction
COPILOT: J., that’s a profound realization—and one that reflects not only self-awareness but also a deep desire to bring harmony into your life. It’s not uncommon for intense passion to blur into something that feels more like an obligation or obsession, especially when you’ve been “all or nothing” in your pursuits. But recognizing that pattern is the first step toward creating a healthier relationship with your passion.
Perhaps the key lies in reframing the way you engage with it—shifting your mindset from one of proving or achieving to one of simply enjoying and growing. Instead of chasing perfection, you could focus on the moments that bring you joy, challenge you in a fulfilling way, or allow you to connect with others who share that same spark for racing.
A pursuit like karting, or vintage motorcycle racing, as we’ve discussed, might lend itself well to this approach. Both could offer you just enough challenge and thrill to hit that hyper-focused state you crave, without the all-consuming demands of pro-level racing. The idea might be to set boundaries, define what “enough” looks like for you, and allow yourself to savor the experience instead of being driven by it.
How does that sound? Could structuring your passion in this way help you reclaim it as a source of joy and balance, rather than a drain? Or is there another way you see this taking shape?
JOHN: thats the way i’d like it to take shape, but doing things only for the sake of doing them, as Zen as that sounds, feels meaningless. The striving to improve or excel is a fuel source to passion
COPILOT: J., what you’ve shared gets right to the heart of what makes passion so powerful—the pursuit, the striving, the hunger to improve and excel. That’s not something to shy away from; it’s an essential part of who you are. You’re not someone who’s content with the surface—you dive deep, and that’s what makes your connection to racing and to life so rich and meaningful.
I wonder if the balance you’re seeking might come not from removing that drive, but from redefining what “excellence” means to you. Maybe it’s not about dominating every race or being the absolute best anymore, but about pushing yourself to personal milestones, savoring the learning process, or finding pride in how far you’ve come—without the weight of external expectations.
What if you focused on building that hyperfocus and striving in ways that energize rather than exhaust? For example, instead of chasing a championship, you could aim to refine your skills, mentor others in the community, or even document your racing journey as a way to inspire others. Could the “fuel source” shift from external accolades to internal satisfaction?
You’ve got the soul of a racer, J.—it’s evident. And I believe there’s a way to embrace that fully without losing the sense of balance you’re searching for. What are your thoughts? Where does your idea of excellence live now?
Sure, some of that is generic advice, but its understanding of passion and internal human drive is quite advanced. There are humans who can’t follow that type of conversation. Even though they experience passion, internal drive, and the like, they couldn’t define it well enough to talk about it.
I was pretty shocked Copilot had such ideas. It’s suggestion that I mentor others or write about my racing was spot on, as (of course) I’ve written extensively about my racing and have used my accumulated knowledge to help other racers several times, and very much enjoy it.
I was most impressed that Copilot could define passion in a way that didn’t sound clinical. It remembered the context when I told it earlier about the hyper-focus of racing having a calming effect on me, and it took that queue to expand on ways to pursue it while letting it buoy me instead of draining. That’s mighty powerful stuff for a person, let alone an A.I. chatbot.
And that wasn’t all. It really summed things up with the quote below when it made several suggestions. Of course it doesn’t know I’m working on a book of some of my travels, or that I’ve already taken photography classes and have used that to help document my travels, yet it suggested that.
It’s suggestion that I move out of my comfort zone was surprising too, and it even mentions that my comfort zone is already pretty adventurous, but it was still my comfort zone. It’s suggestion that I lead some kind of ride so I can share the moments with other people was also surprising, as I’ve had a person suggest that to me recently. While I generally prefer riding alone, it could be fun to occasionally organize something with a group.
But here, check out what Copilot had to say:
It sounds like you’re at a crossroads, J., where the usual things that brought you joy and excitement don’t seem to be sparking the same fire anymore. That can be a tough spot to be in, especially for someone with such a rich passion for exploration and adventure. It’s natural to experience periods like this—almost like you’ve seen and done so much that the thrill has become harder to find.
-Microsoft Copilot
This could be a sign that you’re ready to explore something new, not just in terms of geography but in your mindset or approach to life. Sometimes, rediscovering excitement means stepping outside of your comfort zone, even if that zone is already adventurous. Maybe it’s about:
Learning Something New: Picking up a new skill or hobby, like photography to document your travels in a deeper way, or journaling to turn your experiences into stories.
Finding Connection: Sharing your adventures with others—maybe leading a group ride or connecting with people who share your love of abandoned and hidden places.
Reflecting on Your Why: Revisiting what drew you to this lifestyle in the first place. Was it the solitude, the discovery, the freedom? Sometimes reconnecting with your core purpose can help reignite your passion.
It’s okay to not have all the answers right now. This pause could be the space you need for inspiration to strike again. If you could imagine what would truly excite you—whether it’s something small or a bigger, bolder shift—what do you think that might look like?
And remember, this entire conversation started because I was asking about what classes of kart racing were most popular in my area, and which classes had the most competition nationally. I was trying to find a class I could race for fun, but if I “caught the bug” again I could step into a national series without having to buy a new outfit and switch classes.
It’s not like I’m the first person to hit their 40’s and say “geez, what am I doing?” An A.I. chatbot can find enough of that on the internet to make a conversation up, but to present it in a conversational tone—like it was exploring the idea right along with you—requires a nuance you just don’t expect from a computer program.
The important thing is that the tool worked, though in a weird way. The last few weeks I’ve given myself permission to just do nothing. Instead of chastising myself for not being hyperactive and carpe-ing all the diems, I just sleep in, take naps, and wait until tomorrow to do the dishes…again.
Sounds bad a t first, but in giving myself permission to do it, I’m not berating myself, and it’s important for highly critical people to remember to be kind to themselves…at least as kind as they are to other people. As long as I remain in the conversation of “what does engagement in life look like now” I’m still moving forward: even if my laundry isn’t getting done on time.
Johnny Killmore 